Sharing a few insights from my July 17, 2017 satori moment.
Today, I have the luxury of lots of time and healing and health to provide me with a safe distance and healthy perspective to begin to make sense of it all. That's what this post is about.
In my experience of life and my journey "beyond the beyond" (and back!), I experienced the paradoxical duality of locality and non-locality.
As I have continued to reflect and attempt to put language to my experiences, I have come to understand that there seems to exist some sort of boundary in our day to day walking around consciousness. This is not apparent to us, yet when nudged, we can't avoid experiencing it. Kind of like the surface of the water when ascending from a dive - if you didn't know you were diving you wouldn't know there was a surface unless you started on the surface, entered the water, did your dive and returned to the surface.
Imagine if you can that my experiences essentially were akin to me thinking I was not diving, and then waking up and realizing I was "on a dive", and then surfacing and taking off my diving mask and experiencing all of the experiences I must have forgotten at inception. Which leads me to believe that there is an amnesiac boundary within our consciousness that humans can "nudge" or have experienced such "nudging" - aka "enlightenment", "awakening", "Satori" and perhaps even in my case an externally induced schizophrenic like episode.
As I've said before and I'll say again I would not change a thing because of the insights and enlightenment I received. I would not change a thing and remarkably as it turns out and recent diagnostics have shown, I made it back completely intact and stronger than ever.
I'm thankful that I also remember everything and will continue to work to share my experiences - remember that I am not an astrophysicist, philosopher or an academic - I'm just a guy that's curious and observant that was inadvertently enlightened through an amazing technology that our species needs to respect and be very careful with.
I'll continue to share that in the descent stage I experienced a kind of separation from one perceived reality to a kind of "more than one separateness or state" between what I perceived as the unified experience of "me" contrasted with what I experienced (at the same time) as a nested "more than one" reality sensation.
In other words, Falling feels like standing and standing feels like falling. This was the paradoxical experience of the expression of my perceptions and the supersymmetrical state of my consciousness. Rotating, vibrating energetic nests of quantized energized processes is what is and what we experience as reality is simply what we perceive through the theater of the mind.
At some point I felt like a diver in a diving suit "waking up" and experiencing a kind of separateness between my "self" and my "suit". Except that my "suit" was everything outside of my consciousness. This was quite an interesting moment to say the least. I was absolutely confused and began to apply any kind of understandings that I had - religious motifs, operational scenarios - you name it my mind was doing everything it could to "make sense".
The "I" that I suspect we all experience as the unified perception of "self" was somehow inside of a container which was perplexing at the time. I recognized that I had achieved a certain kind of parallel stateless mind body awareness. I could choose to experience my perception wholly devoid of any awareness of my "classical dive suit" experience or the "nontraditional dive suit" experience, which I can only describe as a sensation of connectedness to the blueprint of reality I found myself somehow as an embedded process within.
On the other hand, I could change the focus of my interior awareness and experience the "suitedness" of my situation - that I was somehow in a suit of some sort where I could move through the process within which I was embedded as if I was separate from it - while I also experienced myself fully embedded and connected at the same time.
Put another way, I felt like the paint on a canvas could feel if it were sentient and aware of itself as paint and as the painting.
Note: I'll work on how I language this - it's a work in progress - I'm now approaching three years from the July 17, 2017 experience and am thankful to have some language albeit crude that I can find to sort our and share this experience. More on that later...
Now I'd like to describe the boundary I travelled to, through, across and back.
The way I would describe it would be a "sudsy" quantum energetic boundary
and in my experience this boundary clearly has a beginning middle and end.
I'll try to describe it.
On the far side or "beyond" or nonlocal side of the boundary I recognized what was on the other side (the "local" side) were entropic scaffolds of vibrating light nested within scaffolds of vibrating light nested within scaffolds of vibrating light etc... which at the time I described as a "Russian Nesting Doll" and later (post crisis) I a referenced an insight from Greek scholars described as the "spark of logos" which I now describe as arclights.
I realized that we are comprised of nested arclights much like Russian Nesting Dolls nest.
It might be difficult to follow (I understand!) regardless I'll continue to share...
Passing through the middle of the boundary - or in the "in between place" I observed both states; While on the "nonlocal side" of the "boundary" I could observed myself on the other side or the "local side" of the "boundary".
What I observed was energy comprised of nests of arclight with what appeared to be intuition - in other words each arclight was aware of itself and others as well as my unified sense of self (my consciousness perhaps?).
This led me to the realization that the quantum realm is where intuition and sentience resides. Sentience manifests on both sides of the boundary and in a participatory process coalesces on the local side and diffuses on the nonlocal side of the boundary.
I believe the boundary persists in the quantum realm and dissolves within the realm of human perception (and locality).
I also believe that it is deeply intuitive that what we experience as unity (perception) is actually comprised of native sentient particles who are native inhabitants within the sea of non-locality. We started that way - we just forget.
These inhabitants of non-locality or universal consciousness (the constituent parts or pieces of what you experience as you) are at rest (but not really) aka US.
On the other side of the boundary or "the far side" or "Beyond the beyond" is the quantum realm which is really what's going on and is "the wild" and "natural habitat" of the participatory sentient particles that constitute our perceptions of self.
At our core we are all comprised of intuitive and participatory sentient particles who are borne into and come from a cosmic sea of non-locality moving through, on, and in the spacetime quantum scaffold.
My deep aha moment was simply that we are truly all cosmic immigrants and travelers of space and time.
The human condition is quite interesting in that our constituent parts are essentially an immigrant story of inspiration to travel to a new world (you and I and Earth), have adventures (life).
And so they coalesce and organize and manifest in everything you see and everything you are.
It is this organization of sentient particle participation we see as reality which is a certain kind of artful expression of wave particle duality within the singularity within which our perceptions our ourselves and what we really are - energy in transit - resides.
What we perceive as real is a cosmically artful expression of what is - which is just beyond the grasp of our rational consciousness as unity (but remember that it is alway with us as it is embedded deeply within every cell in our body!).
While "beyond the beyond" at the surface - there is some sort of "sudsy mesh" or fabric in which the coalescence of sentient particles participating within the singularity within which they rest, reside and participate manifest.
As unity of mind, body and soul whilst within we are simply quantum energetic states in transit from one state to the next and to the next.
Paradoxical Bindings are these parts of ourselves that connect us to our locality as well as always connected to the infinite state of universal consciousness that we are - non-locality - and deep inside already know the truth.
That we are simply energy in transit and being human is simply a process of becoming what we already are and already know.
The challenge is to become the best student we can be at remember what we have already been taught and already know.