Never Quit

Hello and welcome fellow space-time travelers!


Check out curated content from the personal collection of reflections, insights and firsthand accounts of my experiences as a research and experimental test subject for the elevation of consciousness.

This is my personal archive and is maintained as a service to the public.

As my symptoms subsided, I continued to document my efforts to understand and describe through artistic, esoteric and philosophical interpretations what actually happened.

February 12, 2020: The factual details of how the experimentation affected me and the public have now been assembled through investigative reports and can be found here:


John has come to accept that he has received fundamental knowledge that each of us are truly connected whether we recognize it or not, and for that reason he provides this blog as a service to mankind.

If John's words somehow help you in your understandings of yourselves, each other, and the world we share, he believes that his experiences are for the betterment of humanity.

It is in the spirit of artistic expression, love, appreciation and gratitude that he writes, speaks and shares.

Long Live The Brotherhood.

#love #help #research #gratitude #share

-For Ted.


In memoriam and appreciation of Ted Fitzhenry (RIP), I wrote a short story about a BUD/S student training experience I had with him as one of my SEAL Instructors.

My earliest childhood recollections ingrained in me the importance, value and worth of persistence in the face of adversity. Never Quit provides a stylistic "slice of life" glimpse into the very intimate coming of age process that many men can relate to in many different ways. I will forever be grateful to Ted for providing me a firm and fair opportunity.

I realized "all I needed is an interference free, fair shot. And I can be successful." This was first of many pivotal experience that profoundly impacted my internal training, development and resilience strategies for success (both conscious and unconscious) as a SEAL and a human being. In the first phase of my BUD/S training class,

Senior Chief Fitzhenry reminded me of the importance of resilience and persistence even in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds.

Set in the training environment of a BUD/S student circa 1992. This day our class was being selected or deselected based on our performance (demonstrated ability) to problem solve in various situations such as drown proofing (hands and feet tied together), underwater breath holds and life saving; Collectively known as Water Survival.

- John Surmont


Image Credit: US Navy


Never Quit

Coronado, CA circa 1992

The softly bluing sky was marked by streaks of opulent white. Distance muting the guttural sounds of a scupper drain busy at work washing flotsam away. Silently still hulking camouflage figures floating; Grey hued silhouettes patiently waiting; Slowly undulating; fins moving with disciplined and fluid stocatic heel-toe-heel-toe rhythm.

Basic Underwater Demolition / SEAL (BUD/S) training is hard. It can be a bit tricky too. All hands on deck. Time to demonstrate water survival, Frogman style.

Pass; continue training.

Fail; future in question.

Our class moved through the various stations; The cacophonies of sounds spilling across the pool deck.

I hear, "Pass!" to my left and "Fail!" to my right.

Having a name that starts with “S” typically put me towards the last third of the class during test time. The evolution grinds forward methodically. Two thirds of the class cycles through the various testing stations. I start to notice a pattern emerging.

Students were avoiding one instructor’s line.

Ted Fitzhenry was a particularly difficult instructor to save on any day, it just happened that this day was to be my day to learn this lesson.

Ted Fitzhenry was a giant man; Large lungs, wide chest. Students would face Instructor Fitzhenry and upon entering the water would tortuously force themselves to be courageous in the face of irrefutable adversity; Students had very little luck in actually saving him without turning into the drowning victims themselves.

Students avoided Ted's station.

In BUD/S there can never be an empty line. There is always a bit of a “mad rush” to not be "that guy" who is "cherry picking" favorites or avoiding feared instructors. The strategy that was unknown to me quickly manifested in each student who with lightning speed managed to avoid Instructor Fitzhenry's line.

The next feat I witnessed was the ability of each of these students to rapidly jostle themselves into any other line without raising any eyebrows from the instructor cadre.

I was too busy appreciating the "organismic biological imperative to survive" to see what was transpiring around me.

Just then, a fuzzy thought started to enter my mind, "hmm... I wonder if I should..".

A quick scan confirmed that my "SA" or situational awareness was a bit on the narrow side. All eyes were on me. It was my turn to move to the next available line – you guessed it – the only available station was Instructor Fitzhenry. I was locked in.

"Here we go", I thought.

I entered the water and swam toward the hulking figure; silhouette slowly rising and falling against the backdrop of the mid-day sun. I make my approach towards his floating figure.

I hear my words tersely bursting, “relax instructor, I’m here to save you."

Treading water, I reach him.

Arm outstretched. Grab. Shoulder Over shoulder. Stretching, pulling. Kick. Stroke. Glide.

Pumping and kicking. Grudgingly angling towards the side of the pool.


In an instant the soggy giant rolled out of my hold; diving below, gliding up, legs winding around my waist. His huge forearms and hands oozing around my neck slowly squeezing.

Training has commenced.

"Go time." I thought, wondering "what's he going to throw at me now?"

Internal dialogue: "Take a deep breath. Turn head. Tuck chin. Apply pressure. Rotate."

"uh oh."

Ted pulls my hand down and away holding it; He completely prevents me from moving my arms; I was stuck.

"I get the point", I think to myself.

Now on a breath hold, sinking to the bottom in the 9 ft. section.

I wasn’t sure what to do but I do remember the following thoughts: “I think he can hold his breath longer than I can..." and "if this goes on much longer, I’m going to pass out and drown.”

Of course, I didn’t want this; My next thought was, “I don’t think he’s allowed to drown me and don’t think he wants me to drown, either.”


A feign, a ruse. "Sun-Tzu would be proud." I think to myself as I went limp. Allowing all of my weight to fully rest in his hands and arms.

He immediately relaxed his grip; Instantly spinning around and reaching across his chest; I pulled him as hard and fast as I could to the side of the pool.

Just at the last moment I turned and said as in the most confident voice I could manage while gasping for breath, “relax Instructor Fitzhenry, I’m here to save you.”

Once we were to the side of the pool, he looked at me, spit some water out of his mouth and smiled saying, “Pass.”

On this day my fate rested on my ability to think under pressure and under water on a breath hold. Frogmen training Frogmen. That's the nature of things in our world as is the saying, "You are never out of the fight."

Hoo-yah BUD/s.



SCPO Fitzhenry was killed in a training accident on June 15th, 2004.

Rest in Peace, Ted


About the author

Here is where I share my artistic impressions, insights and understandings in the spirit of artistic expression, love, appreciation and gratitude.

Long Live The Brotherhood


#love#help#research #share #strength#honor#wethepeople


John Surmont Copyright 2017-2022 All Rights Reserved

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